There’s a reason why you know everything but still don’t feel better.

You’ve done the work. You’ve been in therapy for months, maybe years, cyclically, and you are became an expert of all reasons why you are who you are. And in the same breadth, you know something is not really aligning. 

First things first, all that work (and money and time) you put into is seen and appreciated. It may not feel like it was worth it considering you may still experience discomfort (for any better word), but when you approach somatic therapy, it does make a difference: it offers you a language for referencing to and from. You can articulate exactly what happened to you, trace the patterns back to childhood, explain the psychological mechanisms at play and you understand your trauma, your anxiety, your responses.

So why don’t you feel better? Why do you understand your trauma but feel like you can’t move forward?

If you’re reading this, you might be frustrated, confused, or wondering if something is wrong with you. Again, let me offer some reassurance: nothing is wrong with you. Understanding why you struggle is important work but it’s not the whole picture.

The gap between knowing and feeling

There’s a particular kind of stuckness that happens when we live primarily in our heads. You might recognise yourself here:

• You can explain your triggers perfectly, but still get flooded when they happen
• You know logically that you’re safe now, but your body doesn’t seem to believe it
• You’re articulate, insightful, even brilliant in sessions but nothing shifts fully
• You notice you talk quickly, fill silences, jump from thought to thought
• The idea of pausing, of silence, feels uncomfortable or even scary

There’s a word that comes to mind but pop psychology monopolised it and now it feels a bit itchy to use, yet accurate: avoidance. This isn’t avoidance in the way we usually think of it. In fact, thinking of avoidance is not the point, here. When we feel it, we discover that avoidance in the body translates as disconnection, numbness, a pulling away from sensations before we even register what we’re pulling away from.

All of this might be keeping you separate from the very feelings and sensations that need attention.

Why talking therapy sometimes isn’t enough

Traditional talking therapy is powerful. It helps us make sense of our stories, develop insight, challenge unhelpful thoughts and for many people, it’s exactly what’s needed. In the many years I’ve offered counselling and psychotherapy from my office in Glasgow (where I live), online and outdoors, I’ve seen lives reemerging after long foggy spells.

But there are some experiences that live in the body and talking therapy may just not be it. And that’s ok, too. And as mentioned, that time spent learning about yourself is not lost and can be a powerful resource in any other therapeutic persuit you may want to embark.

I do offer somatic trauma therapy as one of the answers to that quest for knowing and resolving.

From a somatic trauma therapy perspective, tight shoulders and jaw, digestive issues or headaches to name a few can be symptoms of your body responding to experiences you had in the past that were coded as traumatic, and still exist in you these days.

What changes when we include the body

This is where somatic therapy comes in. I see body-led approaches as bridges between the psychological work you’ve done in the past and a new understanding of what is going on with you.

Somatic therapy invites you to notice what’s happening in your body, not just what you think about your body. It’s gentle, curious work:

• What happens in your chest when you talk about that memory?
• Where do you feel that anxiety you’re describing?
• Can we slow down enough to notice what wants to be felt?

For people who live in their heads, this can feel unfamiliar at first. You might not have language for body sensations. You might feel silly or resistant and that’s completely normal.

The beautiful thing is: your body has been waiting for this attention. It holds wisdom your thinking mind can’t access yet. When we learn to listen, something begins to shift. And listening becomes expanding awareness to include sensation, breath, movement.

The knowing becomes embodied and the understanding moves from intellectual to felt.

I’m aware that social media is rife with invitations similar to the ones I’ve just shared and I appreciate if it doesn’t always work out. Working with a therapist in this instance is quite helpful because they will help co-regulate and build tollerance to listen to and be in your body.

What this looks like in practice

In somatic therapy sessions with me, we still talk. In the words of Babette Rothschild: “Language is necessary for both. The somatic disturbances of trauma require language to make sense of them, comprehend their meaning, extract their message, and resolve their impact. When healing trauma, it is crucial to give attention to both body and mind; you can’t have one without the other.” This is an excerpt from her book, The Body Remembers.

I couldn’t be more in agreement and I will find your articulate, thoughtful self welcome here. And at the same time, we also:

• Notice what happens in your body as you speak
• Use gentle movement to resource your body
• Practice tracking sensations without needing to analyse them immediately
• Build capacity to tolerate feelings without rushing past them
• Learn that pausing doesn’t mean stopping entirely

As an eco-somatic education, I let nature support this process of slowing down and sensing, by calling it in as we work. So, for example, there will be more of remembering gravity as the force that keeps us grounding and connected to the earth rather than a more traditionally used “feel your feet on the floor” (even though we may start from there). There’s something about being held by the more-than-human world that can make embodiment feel less threatening.

You don’t have to choose between thinking and feeling

This isn’t about abandoning your intellect or your insight. And it’s not about forcing a specific type of attention either. They way I understand somatic work and the way I offer it in therapy is far away from being a protocol. I’d rather explore with you ways of listening to your body that feels safe and accessible, than asking you to stay with your visceras when all you want is to run out of that door and never come back. If that happens, we will stay with the “wanting to run”, if anything.

You’ve built a strong foundation of understanding. Now we can build on that, bringing your brilliant mind into conversation with your body’s wisdom, letting both inform your healing.

If this resonates with you, I’d love to talk. I work with clients in Glasgow and online who are ready to move beyond insight alone, who sense there’s more available to them than understanding can offer.